Monday, November 14, 2005

i am no ike turner

Mrs. Camino and I have always been accident prone. We are both generally aloof and unaware when pets or furniture wander into our path, and we often bear the bruises to prove it. Just the other night I hit myself in the head with the car door, and Mrs. Camino has actually stepped on the rake end of a rake and endured the ensuing painful, yet cartoonish thwack. The blessing of a large and battering ram like head has helped me survive most of these encounters, but my lovely wife sometimes requires medical attention.
She was cleaning out the garage on Saturday when a pickaxe fell from the wall and struck her on the back of the head. It was the non-business end but still substantial enough and traveling at a sufficient velocity to inflict some pain. There appeared to be no bruising or swelling, and Mrs. Camino went about the rest of her day.
She went to work on Sunday afternoon but had begun to feel some dizziness and nausea. I took her to the hospital to get things checked out and make sure there was no internal damage, and the doctor found nothing on the x-rays. He thinks that it might have been a mild concussion, but it didn't seem to be anything significant. She is back at work and feeling better today.
However, she noticed that each of the nurses who took her from room to room asked about her accident. She would repeat the details of cleaning the garage and having the pickaxe fall, but something about the nurses and their inquiries gave her the slight impression that they were checking for spousal abuse.
I am her spouse, obviously, and this worries me a bit. She was accident prone as a child, and her parents had to endure many of the same suspicions when she would show up to class with a black eye, but there is something much worse about showing up at work with noticeable bruising. No one ever looks at her suspiciously when I am bruised, but it is an understandable double-standard.
It will probably be a good idea to have our children live in plastic bubbles.
I say all this just to let you know that I would never lay a hand on Mrs. Camino. I am much larger and could easily take her, but she fights dirty and is able to hold a grudge for quite some time.


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3:47 AM  
Blogger Chez Bez said...

Holden Tees! My favorite!

You may want to invest in security cameras like Vegas to document your innocence.

Fortunately for my reputation, my wife is not accident prone. I, however, often look like the opening to The Dick Van Dyke Show.

Case in point: A few weeks ago I a leaving the house for work. My wife lovingly says to me as I am walking out the door, "Be careful."

I reply, "Always am." And I close the door behind me, turn to walk toward the car, and loudly trip over the folding chair that is on the porch.

Once she checks to see that I am alright, she laughs for the rest of the day. She loves me, but for all the wrong reasons.

6:48 AM  
Blogger red molly said...

Rex you are a good man. I'm glad Mrs. Camino is okay.

7:57 AM  
Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

Gracias, Red Molly.

My problem tends to be with doors, Michael. I tend to try and walk through doorways before I have completely cleared the door from my path. It is certainly a fixable problem, and one that is less understandable than tripping over folding chairs (though I have been guilty of that as well).

8:17 AM  
Blogger melusina said...

I bruise easily myself, and have a really bad habit of running into furniture, cupboards, and the like. And if I carry too many heavy plastic grocery bags, putting some on my wrist, I get MAD bruising.

I go around with a pitiful whine, hold up my wrist, and say "see what my husband does to me??"

I guess its all fun until somebody gets hurt. It reminds me of the Curb Your Enthusiasm where the wife got a deep tissue massage and was bruised all over her arm. They were leaving a dinner party and decided to fake making it look like he was smacking her. Oops.

10:15 AM  
Anonymous sethro said...

lies! all lies! Rex abuses his bandmates most cruely during every rehersal and before and sometimes after every performance. ...but it's only because he loves us so much...and we frustrate him...we don't know how to act right... he keeps tellin' us but we don't listen.

11:09 AM  
Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

Can a man not control his band with violence, Sethro?

12:11 PM  
Blogger rugdesigner said...

I am accident prone as well. In the past I have been on the receiving end of the "doubtful" looks when being questioned a few times. At first I found it quite funny, but then I realized it was pretty sad to require me to defend my klutziness with such fervor...

12:33 PM  

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