Friday, May 19, 2006

the foley foodfight

A friend asked if I had a chance to partake of the throwed rolls while in Foley. He was of course speaking about Lambert's Cafe, a Cracker Barrel-esque establishment with the notable distinction/gimmick of having waiters throw bread at paying customers.
I did not.
I’m sure that the food is fine and the waiters throw with a tempered velocity and without any malice whatsoever toward the hordes of pasty invading tourists. I’m sure that a good time is had by all and that no one ever suffers an injury and no rolls make it on to the floor and then somehow wind up thrown to customers elsewhere who are completely oblivious to the fact that Uncle Willy on the other side of the restaurant has lost quite a bit of reaction time in his eighty years. I’m sure also that everyone washes his or her hands.
However, I still have no plans to sample any of these throwed rolls.
The whole concept elicits more questions than answers. For instance, does one ask for a roll to be thrown or are they tossed at random? Must I then maintain a cat-like state of readiness throughout my meal? Should I remain sober and alert in order to sharpen my reaction time? And what of the young and the elderly? If I bring along my grandmother will I then also have to keenly be aware of any projectile bread products within her vicinity? Is anywhere safe from these rolls? Must I remain guarded while in the restroom, lest some quick cornbread to the side of the face disrupts an otherwise unguarded moment?
Methinks the whole situation would not be conducive to proper digestion.
Still, some people are obviously into that sort of thing, and I dare not judge them. But as for me and mine we will stick to any one of the thousands of seafood restaurants that sit around Lambert’s. There, any thrown food will be taken as a sign of primate aggression and then dealt with accordingly.
I will get up and run away with the all the speed and adrenaline of a skittish marmot, which is actually a much more natural reaction than feigning giddiness at having your meal thrown at you.


Blogger H.U.T.S. said...

I've been to Lambert's in Sikeston, MO (yes, there are dueling banjo's in the area and an occasional 'squeel piggy' from the hills). It is an interesting trip. You have to signal the thrower. On occasion an innocent bystander gets wacked in the head with an errant toss. I thought the thrower wore gloves too. No baseball gloves allowed to catch the rolls which end up squished anyways. Not bad to eat though.

9:15 AM  
Blogger saraclark said...

My MiL was just there and got tagged by a roll unexpectedly. I would have paid $5 for them to do it again.

4:10 PM  
Blogger Lee said...

I've been to the one in Sikeston as well. You gotta hold your hand up and usually their aim is good. Their plate portions are huge as well. I recommend the roast beef.

5:00 PM  
Anonymous Joseph William Perry said...

Well, there you are then.
I think the guy is supposed to say, 'who wants a roll?' and you are supposed to say, 'I do.' The he throws the roll.
Click on my name above for more, plus a picture of Lambert's.

7:40 PM  

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