Sunday, November 05, 2006

some last minute campaigning

Joe Six-Pack: People who care about things have guilted me into voting this year, but I was surprised to find that there really isn’t anyone to vote for. I’m upset because A) the Republicans have screwed everything up B) God has apparently endorsed a Democrat for senate C) no hablo ingles. Who can I vote for?

You can write in Rex L Camino.

Joe Six-Pack: Who the hell is Rex L. Camino?

Rex: I am.

Joe Six-Pack: What is that, your porn name?

Rex: No, it’s a blog name. My porn name is "Pedro Pantalones".

Joe Six-Pack: What will you do if you’re elected.

Rex: First, I’ll stop doing porn, as it would be disrespectful to the office.

Joe Six-Pack: What office?

Rex: The office of porn star. Politics would disgrace it.
Joe Six-Pack: Then what will you do?

Rex: Can I have one of those beers?

Joe Five-Pack: Sure.

Rex: Thanks. Secondly, I’m sure I’ll find a way to disgrace whatever office I’m elected to.

Joe Five-Pack: Is that all?

Rex: Pretty much. It will be the same performance I’ve given in all the other jobs I’ve had, but this one has benefits and a six-figure income.

Joe Five-Pack: So are you a Republican or something?

Rex: No, I’m actually registered as a Democrat for the sole purpose of being able to vote for John Jay Hooker every time there’s a primary. However, I prefer to think of myself as libertarian.

Joe Five-Pack: John Jay Hooker…is that a porn name?
Rex: I’m afraid so.


Blogger newscoma said...

I've got to figure out what my porn name is now. You've created a dilemma.

6:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Porn name generator

1:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You killed me with "Joe Five-Pack."

2:04 AM  
Blogger newscoma said...

Okay anonymous, I took your porn name generator and I'm Nikki Strokum.
I feel so fancy.

5:23 AM  
Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

There was a much longer version in my head where he was eventually Joe One-Pack, but we started talking some crazy shit at that point and I thought it best to end it sooner, C.Bez.

I like the sound of "Newstrokum".

7:52 AM  
Blogger newscoma said...

Well, It has a nice beat and you can dance to it.
Badabing. I'll be here all week.

6:17 PM  
Blogger Vol Abroad said...

I had a great anti-Bama thing re. porn names - but even I decided that it was in very bad taste.

I'm sorry I didn't vote for you in one of the uncontested elections anyway. Perhaps if you'd campaigned on the rehabilitation of the Owl's Nest I might have remembered to do so.

3:15 PM  
Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

Is that place still closed? I rememeber thinking and probably even mentioning that it had burned down, but then I drove past it months later and noticed that it hadn't actually and that I had just been confused--which is usually what happens anyway.

I'll remember to glance in that direction when I head down for Thanksgiving.

5:26 PM  

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