Wednesday, November 16, 2005

paris' monkey attacks

I caught that headline and immediately thought, those poor French bastards. The immigrant riots have obviously left them ill prepared for things like monkey attacks, and those dastardly little simian devils are obviously seizing their opportunity.
However, I was mistaken.
The latest member of Paris Hilton's brood went a bit bonkers and attacked her in a lingerie shop recently. According to, Baby Luv the monkey clawed Hilton in the face while she was out shopping for lingerie at the saucy knicker shop Agent Provocateur. The New York Post reported that the monkey was then tied to a cabinet while Paris spent $4000 on lacy frippery.
So, as you can see, it was not a bad monkey attack at all, as I think the world was collectively pulling for Baby Luv in this one.
However, that last line did help me out a bit, as I am always at a loss as to what to do with my monkey when I'm out purchasing frippery.


Blogger Joe Powell said...


Dang, Rex -- that's the best thing I read all day.

I'd pay cash money to see a monkey go at it in a lingerie shop with Paris Hilton as a casualty.

Too funny!!!

7:12 PM  
Blogger Stella said...

If I get the gig I'm trying for, I'll be working Paris's next record. Yeah, next record. Please.

I think I just met more of your friends out here. He works for Jimmy Kimmel. Ring a bell?

Also a San Diegan that you might know, as well. Just got engaged?

11:12 PM  
Blogger Sharon Cobb said...

Dang, you're good.
I owe you an email, but am too tired to write.
Just wanted to *at least* drop by and tell you how much I love your site.

3:23 AM  
Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

I've never seen that Paris show on Fox, Joe, but I'll certainly be tuning in to the next season if it features her getting her ass kicked by monkeys on a regular basis.

Next record, Jill. That is quite disturbing. I have many mutual friends with the folks you are talking about, but I do not know them personally. Still, Mr. Kimmel's employee is a quality individual by all accounts, and I'm sure Sethro has many nice things to say about him.

Gracias, Sharon. I'll be looking forward to your next dispatch.

6:23 AM  
Blogger Kat Coble said...

Paris owns a monkey? Maybe you CAN be too rich...

Although I confess to wanting a monkey myself. I think they're dead charming.

9:44 AM  
Anonymous sethro said...

just when i thought there was a serious drought of monkey related news, Rex hits me with this true gem of a story. I mean this is really heart warming. just thinking of that little monkey rending Paris's tender young powder covered flesh with the kind of gusto that only a lower primate can give....well, i just want to scream go monkey go! that's a good monkey!
...and in a "saucy knicker shop"! he's a cheeky monkey too!

as for our "man at Kimmel"...yes, he's good one. we do love him so.
even more than that monkey.

11:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry but a Kinkajou is NOT a monkey.
Not even a distant relative.

6:20 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home