your assignment

There were often days during my brief year of teaching in which the gifted little bastards would exhaust the lesson plan and leave me with some improvisational cat herding to do. It was then that I came up with an extensive list of first lines for children’s stories and passed them out for the kids to finish. They would each get a few minutes to add their parts and then pass them along to the next kid. I may not have learned them their grammar good, but I kept them entertained, and that’s all that really matters, as robots, foreigners, and foreign robots will probably fill all the jobs they aspire to by the time they graduate.

Anyway, I thought that some of you might also enjoy this sort of thing. I’ll leave you with one of the sentences. You can add your parts in the comments section, and I will then take credit for it and rake in millions if it appears to be a lucrative children’s story. Actually, it will probably just sit alongside my other, often rejected and misunderstood children stories, The Smoking Monkey That Could, But Didn’t and There’s Nothing Funner Than A Butterknife In The Eye.

I’ll be landscaping in Outer Brentwood and away from the computer all day. I assume you won’t need a substitute, but bear in mind that the nerdy kids will be taking names and that there are many nerdy kids out there.

Here goes:

"The angry squirrel crept up slowly behind the slumbering buffalo."