Monday, September 19, 2005

rex l. camino's dream of practical cats

The cat known on this blog as "Bukowski" gave me an idea the other day.

Now, if I can just train him to do this to weeds and avoid grazing on flowers it will make my time as a landscaper much easier. Then again, if I can train a herd of the little bastards to consume weeds upon my command I might just have a lucrative business venture in my future.

I am more about the ideas than the work ethic, and that may have been a contributing factor in the number of jobs I’ve had and left, but I’m willing to wager that people would pay good money just to see my army of lawn care cats in action.

It won’t even matter that they do a shitty job.

Much like I am off to do now.


Blogger melusina said...

Yea, but what will you do with all the puke that will be left in their wake?

9:56 AM  
Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

I thought of that on my way to work. My dog seems to like it, so I would think that maybe stray dogs could benefit in some way.

5:36 PM  
Blogger Joe Powell said...

I have this image in my head now of some old Tex Avery cartoon which showed a herd of sheep all in a line and reducing a lawn to dirt in seconds flat.
Sheep or cats, I'd pay cash money fer that kind of lawn service.

8:42 PM  
Blogger Kat Coble said...

"Groundskeeper Rexie. Don't Just Let Any Pussy Trim Your Lawn."

Good slogan for the side of any truck...

8:22 AM  
Blogger melusina said...

Especially a truck in the Bible Belt...

So, I am guessing you would have to hire an equal number of dogs to trail behind the cats and eat their vomit? Or maybe one dog can eat the vomit of 3 or 4 cats.

But then, doesn't the dog vomit?

2:21 PM  
Blogger HUCK said...

Hey, Have you thought about the byproduct implications of hundreds of cats eating so much fiber?

On the other hand…
Who knows, maybe you can use it to your advantage. Fertilizer ain't cheap.

4:00 PM  
Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

That is what I'm counting on, Joe.

Exactly, Huck. I was thinking of a fertilizer b'ness on the side.

Mel, dogs often eat their own vomit before you can clean it up. This sometimes happens over and over again. It is gross at first, but then it gets funny.

I already had that on the side of my truck before the cat idea, Katherine.

5:51 PM  

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