Saturday, March 11, 2006

how bush lost the half cherokee and choctaw vote

I must admit to being a bit amused by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill's comments earlier this week.
Wow. I bet they haven't been that pissed since they found out they weren't cousins.
Oh snap. Oh no you didn't.
If Mr. McGraw thinks he can kick the ass of a disembodied voice he can BRING IT ON!
I should point out that I have every right to be pissed at Tim for some past transgressions.
How so?
Well, like most whites, I often go around saying that I am part Cherokee. I can't remember if it's true or not, but it really doesn't matter anymore now that the federal gub'ment has denied my plans for the Rex L. Camino Casino of Doom.
I tell folks that I'm part Anasazi.
What part?
The part that counts, if you know what I'm saying.
I don't. Still, the part of me that made up the thing about being part Cherokee was offended by this early McGraw classic.
Did you mean to link to "Afternoon Delight"?
Shit. Hold on, I'll just look up a sampling of the sort of thing that McGraw can't even write himself. Trust me, it will make the Starland Vocal Band look like Randy Newman.
I'll wait here.
(awkward silence)
Sooo...That was an odd mistake..Don't you think?
Randy Fucking Newman. Trust me.
No problem...I was just gonna say that you could've probably changed the link or something if you had really wanted...
A-ha! Behold:
"I'm an indian outlaw/Half cherokee and choctaw/My baby she's a chippewa/She's one of a kind/All my friends call me bear claw/The village chieftin' is my paw-paw/He gets his orders from my maw-maw/She makes him walk the line/You can find me in my wigwam/I'll be beatin' on my tom-tom/Pull out the pipe and smoke you some/Hey and pass it around."
Sweet Candy Coated Jesus that is awful!
What'd I tell you?
Thanks for not putting that in italics.
He's a regular Chomsky, ain't he?
It seems that his CDs would do more to hurt his CD sales than his political views.
Indeed. Tim McGraw's political views are not what keep me from buying Tim McGraw CDs. The man has a consistent track record of absolute suck, and all indications show that his career is unlikely to diverge from this chosen path of overly produced modern country ear cancer. He would be unlistenable from any side of the aisle, and I wouldn't purchase anything with his name on it even if it came with a free Faith Hill.
Whoa. I might not be so quick on that last bit.
We'll revisit that one if and when such a promotion avails itself.
So the purpose of this whole post is to defend your boy Dubya?
Oh hell no. I never voted for the guy, and my intention was not even to say that Tim McGraw was wrong or that he didn't have a point. To be honest, I didn't really pay that much attention to what he had to say.
Then what is the purpose of this?
One should never waste the opportunity to take cheap shots at a grossly overpaid karaoke hat rack.


Anonymous Tim McGraw said...

Mr. Camino,

"Indian Outlaw" is a metaphor for all oppressed people who have to live outside the conventions of our opressive society. This is high art comparable to the likes of Chaucer and Hemingway.

Besides, my dad was a famous baseball player.

So cut it out.

cc: Tim McGraw's Lawyer

8:10 AM  
Blogger Vol Abroad said...

C'mon Rex... no need to get so stirred up just 'cause your casino got the caibosh. (Which, BTW - I would have been proud to lose money in).

I have to admit to a sneaking liking for the songs of Mr McGraw (though I'll not do it on my blog).

Classics like Gettin' Down on the Farm are a loving tribute to my culture and how I spent my high school weekends. Ahh.. nothing like gettin' drunk in a field.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

Dear Timmy,

My dad never played baseball, but he did invent a vehicle that combined the best aspects of cars and trucks.

Too bad it infringed upon Chevrolet's copyrighted design of the "El Camino" and thus left him vulnerable to lawsuits.

Besides, I think of you more as an arena football mogul.

6:05 PM  
Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

Dear Vol Abroad,

I don't believe I would've told that.

6:06 PM  
Anonymous tim mcgraw said...

Dear Mr. Camino,

I banged Faith in the back of one of your dad's vehicles on our third date.

Or was it in the rear-facing jumpseat of a Subaru P'up?

Anyway, I will not press slander charges.

Tim "Bear Claw" McGraw

6:53 PM  
Anonymous Faith Hill said...

was that you?

10:11 AM  
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