smokes and faulty roadmaps

I dreamed last night that I attended church with my 91 year old grandmother on a regular basis, and that she had signed me up for a sort of morality play being presented for the youth group. My scene was to showcase the sin of smoking cigarettes. I was playing an unemployed architect school drop-out who was trying to hide his pain in the comforting haze of his own smokescreen. The script didn't call for it, but I wore flannel pajamas and a bathrobe on stage. The other character in the scene was an understanding landlord who stops by the apartment to see why I haven't paid rent in six months and ends up telling me how Jesus can help me stop smoking. He was played by the late Art Carney.

Anyway, the role meant that I had to smoke right there on the makeshift stage in the church gymnasium, and my grandmother bought me a pack of Marlboro 100's for just the occasion. The odd thing about this is that I don't really smoke on a regular basis, and being in the play meant that I had to for at least the run of the play (they were eventually bringing in schoolkids to see it). In real life I smoke a pipe a couple of times a week. I also smoke cigarettes every few months but tend to make to make it worth my while with something better than Marlboro.

However, the worst thing about the play was that my grandmother bought me 100's. I am unable to waste anything. I will stand at the fridge and try to finish a milk carton that is about to go bad or eat some cheese that appears in the midst of serious mold contemplation rather than throw it out. I'm getting much better at it, but my progress has yet to allow me to take a couple of drags off a Marlboro 100 and then stamp it out in front of an audience of children a couple of times a day. I could merely light a cigarette and then pretend to smoke it, but it really bothers me to see actors do this.

The night before that I dreamed that someone was putting out a series of Rex L. Camino roadmaps. It wasn't me and I wasn't seeing a dime from it. The way I found out was by walking into a gas station and seeing one on display. It was Missouri. That was all that had been released so far, and they were selling them in middle Tennessee gas stations for some reason.

I unfolded one and found it difficult to read, as the words YOU ARE READING A REX L. CAMINO MAP were written boldly across most of the state. However, I could see enough to tell that St. Louis and Kansas City were located on opposite side of an interstate exit in the geographic center of the state. Albuquerque was right there with them.

I'm not one for dream interpretation, but those of you who are can feel free to twist and turn these into some big cohesive message that I have thus far been ignoring.