Thursday, June 08, 2006

a fruitless trip into the heart of fan fair

I loathe modern country music. This week's CMA Music Festival, with its glorification of tone deafness and mind-numbing lyrics, could serve as my ideal hell. One would therefore expect me to avoid it like the plague that it is.
One must have forgotten how much I enjoy the talking of smack.
Having all these grossly overpaid country "artists" gathered in one place is simply too much of an opportunity to pass up, and so it was that I slipped on my heckling pants and headed to up to downtown Nashville for an afternoon of obnoxious musical criticism.
However, the lines were far too long, and my resolve waned and then died a slow and ugly death as I stood there behind Edgar and Maude Sixpack from Hoboscrotum, Oklahoma in their matching rhinestone encrusted denim outfits accentuated by fanny packs so proudly earned through Marlboro miles.
Sadly, the only line short enough to accommodate my impatience was the one to get your picture taken with the free-floating and disembodied beard of Charlie Daniels:
precious cma memories
But even then the bastard wouldn't shut up long enough for me to get a word in.


Blogger Vol Abroad said...

Where can one purchase some heckling pants? I sense a gap in my wardrobe which was heretofore unnoticed.

2:36 AM  
Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

We each must make our own heckling pants, VA.

6:21 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

Mine have very small knights on very small horses, all over it.

10:44 AM  
Blogger mapgirl said...

I am in awe of your PhotoShop skills.


9:16 PM  
Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

I can't give you the specifics of my heckling pants, Sara, but I can tell you that it is much more effective than my heckling kilt.

Gracias, Mapgirl.

6:15 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home