Thursday, April 20, 2006

the first three things i would do to make this or any other season of "gilmore girls" more enjoyable for the television viewing public

1. Have one or preferably both of the Gilmore girls get kicked in the throat by a pack mule and thus injured in such a way as to leave them without the benefit of speech. I suppose that a plot with a mute-rendering virus would provide the same effect, but it would not have the added benefit of alerting the public to the very real danger of being kicked in the throat by a seemingly harmless pack mule. Anyway, the goal here is less of that rapid-fire talky-talk between the two of them while extras stand around portraying Star's Hollowites with patient shit-eating grins stretched across their faces. In real life, any number of even the kindest of small town New Englanders would have violently revoked the Gilmorian "gift" for the gab long ago.
2. I've been watching for years now, and Luke's hat has only grown more distracting. I want to like the character, but the hat, much like the ever present tool belt that draped Schneider on One Day at a Time, has disabled my ability to seriously consider him as a love interest. However, Rory's dad doesn't work either. No, what we need fresh blood.
Yes, I am also thinking that this could signal Jan Michael Vincent's triumphant return to television.
3. Have Lorelei's father (played by Edward Herrmann) turn out to be the head vampire. I like both him and his character, but all those redundant letters in the his last name have always bothered me. Still, we can give him a good send off and make a memorable season out of it. We can even have cameos by Keifer Sutherland and the Corys Haim and Feldman. He can kill off Sebastian Bach and all of Rory's annoying boyfriends first and then spend a few episodes proving himself a powerful and seemingly unstoppable plot twist.
...that is, until he meets the Airwolf.

9 Comments:

Blogger Juan Horsetown said...

4. topless Gilmores!
5. more appearances by that guy I went to high school with who apparently has been on there as one of of Rory's college friends or something

10:34 PM  
Blogger mapgirl said...

Preach it, brother.

We must be the only two people who find it cloying and annoying -- not at all endearing.

Yet another post that proves why 4 out of 5 discerning webloggers choose Rex L. Camino's Blog of Doom.

m.

11:12 PM  
Blogger Kat Coble said...

No. There is also me. After some damned stupidity a few weeks ago, the Girls were officially banished from my Season Pass list.

Rory is spoiled, Lorelai has become self-absorbed. It's just worse than going to the dentist.

10:34 AM  
Blogger AG said...

Then I guess everyone missed Lorelai's use of the word "frakkin'" in this weeks episode.

That's right. You missed it.

11:25 AM  
Blogger Kat Coble said...

Bitches rippin' off my Galactica. Not good, not good.

12:15 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

Kat--it's not just your Galactica...

And GG this year has really jumped the shark. I hope ASP leaving will help things...

12:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rex please tell me you would not care so much about this show if you were not married.Your wife got you hooked on it,right?

1:01 PM  
Blogger Rex L. Camino said...

She did indeed, but it was once a good show to be hooked on.

4:42 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

But Lauren Graham is so hot. Even though I've never watched more than 20 minutes of an episode, I can tell you that much.

6:37 PM  

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