Tuesday, March 13, 2007

if you see my little rex l. camino please drive him home

Folks, I don't know where he is. I'd like to think that he's sauntering down a sidewalk somewhere in a cheap suit, muttering to himself, taking shots from a nearly empty bottle of NyQuil, dragging a bull fiddle behind him, and perhaps only stopping to wave the shaft of a broken martini glass at any fellow pedestrians who have the misfortune of passing while on cell phones, but all I know for certain is that he just left abruptly and without notice. I have rummaged through his desk and found it to be a tossed salad of Cd's, guitar picks, private detective paperbacks from the thirties through the fifties, unpaid bills, airplane bottles of gin, signed photographs of Emmanuel Lewis in which "Emmanuel" is frequently misspelled or even signed as Gary Coleman, and scraps of paper with things like "Oh what a tangled web we weave when we get really drunk and try to crochet ourselves a sweater" written on them, but it is in no way a clue to where he might be or why he is there. However, there is still some investigating to be done. It took quite some time of running through the most obscene words one could conjure before I found the password to the humble blog o' doom.
Your concern for him is misguided kind, and you can rest assured that I will pass along any info I encounter.
Yours,
Captain Howdy (or the "italicized bastard", if you prefer)

14 Comments:

Blogger Kleinheider said...

Good luck in your investigation, Boy Howdy, we miss the cordial ramblings of Mr. Camino and the world shall not be quite right until they return on at least a weekly basis.

6:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yes, I have also 'went through the drawers' and 'tossed salad' occasionally myself... sadly, I didn't find any of those things you mentioned, only dark, dark things my mind would do well to forget....

get back.... to where you once belonged...

tha b.

8:53 PM  
Blogger Lynnster said...

Captain Howdy! I thought you were living over at Knuck's now.

We shall patiently await Rex's return with breathless anticipation, and playing Diana Ross & The Supremes' "My World is Empty Without You" over and over and over again until he meanders his way back to the cult... I mean, the fold.

11:04 PM  
Anonymous sista smiff said...

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything

Come back, Rex. If you don't, I'll sing more Barry Manilow songs.

12:22 PM  
Blogger Newscoma said...

Captain Howdy, please find Rex and bring him back.
Although hearing Barry Manilow presented by Sista would be a hoot and a hell of a lot of fun.

6:22 PM  
Blogger Lynnster said...

I have decided I am going to cry every day until Rex comes back. I am. Really I am.

Making women cry. For shame.

7:17 PM  
Blogger 'Coma said...

Okay.
This is strongarming Captain Howdy but I need Rex back because he is the only one that will talk to me about Bigfoot and incredibly large vegetables.
Dammit.

4:15 PM  
Anonymous PUNK HP said...

My name is Gary Coleman, and I live in Oak Ridge Tennessee. I went to MTSU in the 80's. Murfreesboro is my other home town. I was thrown into a dorm room with a person named Todd Bridges. My wife who was then a girlfriend, could not remember my name, and called me "Webster". Small world of Syncronicity aint it?

10:33 AM  
Anonymous ohno said...

UM.ok... I uh... like need you to um.. like come back okay?...hehe... um..yeah. Please. COME THE FUCK BACK OK???!!

9:54 PM  
Blogger Lynnster said...

I heard that if you stand in front of a mirror in the dark and say "Rex L. Camino" three times when there's a full moon, that his Doppelganger will come. He might be drunk, but he'll come.

Captain Howdy, go hang out at CLC's or something and bring Rex back here.

Still crying daily,
Lynnster

12:56 AM  
Anonymous Maynard said...

Lynnster, that is the most unintentionaly funny comment ever!!!

4:47 PM  
Anonymous sista said...

Your favorite Sista is pining for you, still.

11:19 PM  
Blogger Stella said...

We're all gettin' slow with the bloggy blogs...livin' our lives and such. But come back, mmk?

3:28 PM  
Blogger Lynnster said...

Just stopping by to :: cry :: some more.

Sure would make my guest blogging weekend for Rex to just suddenly appear outta nowhere on Sunday.

Hint, hint.

6:25 PM  

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