this week in neurology
This has been the week to kick my ass. Think of some giant ass kicking thing, and this week will easily kick its ass with little or no effort. It would be an embarrassing sight, and you would henceforth think of this week the next time someone asks you to think of some giant ass kicking thing.
However, the next few weeks will probably be able to kick the ass of this week.
My super secret primary half job is generally easy and laid back and works well with my commitment to avoiding stress, but that will not be the case for the next month. There are a number of factors for this, but they are each more super secret than the job itself, and you should feel lucky for this, as it will end this particular line of bitching.
My only respite this week was an early doctor's appointment on Tuesday that allowed me to sleep an extra hour or so. My sickness had pretty much left, but the dizzy spells that plagued me for a while last year had returned and brought with them some eye twitching and various sharp head pains.
The doctor was relatively certain that I wasn't having a stroke. I would like to see a little more confidence when people say things like that, but he did a much better job than the last doctor did with, "I'm pretty sure it's not a brain tumor."
The new doctor thinks the dizziness stems from an ear infection and subsequent swelling related to last week's sinus infection. The swelling tends to throw off the balance sensors and leave Rex L. Camino bumping into things even more than usual.
If the medicine for that doesn't work, then it is probably vertigo.
Are you seeing Kim Novak everywhere?
Is anyone even going to get that?
Anyway, the doctor then explained vertigo to me, but it didn't work too well, as the mere mention implanted that damn U2 song in my head for the next few minutes.
I hate that fucking song should be able to sue for malpractice.
Uno..dos..tres..catorce?
However, getting rid of the ear infection seems to have helped quite a bit. I now have an acceptable command of my faculties and feel relatively confident that I could use them to kick the shit out of Bono, should I find myself within a shitkicking range of the greasy Irishman.
So if I drop off for long stretches over the next few weeks you can attribute it to:
1. Work.
2. Stroke.
3. Chasing Kim Novak up a belltower.
4. Kicking the ass of Bono.
I just thought I'd give you a heads up.
posted by Rex L. Camino at 6:03 PM
6 Comments:
*raises hand*
i got it...
*raises hand again*
please don't tell Sharon Cobb how you feel about Bono. She wants to have his babies.
That movie is such a misnomer.
Sharon can still have his babies. I know of her love for Bono and was a bit apprehensive to let my feelings be known (besides, hating Bono is almost too easy), but that damn song popped back into my head. I had no choice.
I got it. I got it. Not only do I get the movie reference, but I personally have its title. Ahh, vertigo.
I'm a man's man in so many ways. Brave enough to do pretty brave things if women are watching, but climbing a small spiral staircase gets first graders shaking their heads in shame at me.
It's a sad and beautiful world.
Who wouldn't get it? Besides, my father had a not-so-secret crush on Ms. Novak. It was rather embarrassing.
Just so you know, doctors in Greece aren't much better. It is all because even though they all act like they know everything, they really can't ever be totally sure you don't have something. And they don't like getting sued.
You got me thinking of what a difference the WWW has made. Remember just a couple decades ago when doctors were GODS, because they had this vast knowledge that the rest of us peasants had no access to. Now my doctor tells me something and I respond,
"Really, because the AMA just did a study that says..."
It's great.
True, exador. However, the downside of peasants like myself doing medical research on the web is that we become falsely confident in our ability to diagnose ourselves. In the past year I have seriously convinced myself that I have had four different kinds of cancer, an enlarged heart, and the beginnings of Parkinson's. My genetic ancestry doesn't give me much confidence against such things, but my hypochondriacal tendencies have yet to be rewarded.
And...
Yes. Also, I am sorry for not giving you enough credit. I kept thinking Tippi Hedren and had to look it up.
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